Why we don’t stack questions in coaching conversations

I was listening to an online interview recently between two consultants and an author about conversations that matter. Pretty good content. What caught my attention was when one of them asked the author several questions at once. This is what we call stacking in the coaching world.

I find that stacking comes naturally to people who are quick thinkers. Their minds move quickly through their thoughts, and they end up blurting out a few questions in a row to the other party to the conversation.

This is relatively harmless in interviews and largely inconsequential conversations. I find the person being asked usually just answers the last question and sometimes the one before it. We’ve all heard the phrase, “I’ll start by answering your last question first.” Sadly, we’ve also often heard, “Tell me again what was your first question?”

Why do we not want this to happen in a coaching conversation? A few reasons come to mind.

Coaching isn’t intended to move fast. Coaches want their clients to slow down and think more deeply about the question we’ve asked. If we ask two questions or worse, a third one, then we cause our client’s mind to speed up as they consider all questions asked and decide which one to answer. Stacking goes against the nature of coaching.
The coach may not be asking the best next question. In coaching we want to ask questions based on our instincts after listening carefully to what the client has said. How did our instincts bubble up multiple best questions? There can only be one best question to ask – not to say that there are no alternatives that may be effective but rather to say that we should feel drawn to a single best question. If we don’t trust this to be true, then we’ll second guess our questions and be more prone to stacking.
It’s going to feel less like coaching and more like everyday conversation to our client. Coaching needs to feel different. We’re getting our clients out of their regular world and into the coaching space. Shouldn’t these conversations stand apart? Stacking will signal to our client that they do not since they get stacked questions regularly in various venues. This may be nitpicking, but it matters.
The coach is thinking out loud. I’ve literally seen this in coaching conversations I’m observing. The coach hears something from the client and quickly asks multiple questions. Where was the space between the response and the next question to deeply think about what was said and what should then suggest a way forward? When a coach doesn’t think out loud, they can run through multiple questions in their mind as they sift through the possibilities and settle on the one that rises up as the one to ask next.
It’s not modeling the coaching conversation. Executive coaches work with leaders who can often benefit two fold from having a great coach. They generate new solutions to bedeviling problems and they may learn a method of conversation they didn’t know before that will serve them long after the coaching is through. They can initiate coaching-esque conversations with peers and reports. We wouldn’t want them to think stacking is coaching, right?

What was ironic about the video interview I watched with the two consultants is that they are running a coaching program based on their methodologies. I’ve enrolled in the program because I like their strategic thinking method and believe it may be useful in helping me and my clients think more critically and avoid unhelpful biases and heuristics. While attending one of their coaching classes, one of the consultants demonstrated one of their tools in action with a client. They stacked. Oh well, I’m still getting something from their program and generated an idea for an article for you! If initiated accurately, coaching is a powerful tool! Learn more about why coaching is a powerful tool here. Hope this was helpful.

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