Want to take on a real coaching challenge that will grow your coaching presence, refine your listening skills, and more closely connect you with your client?
Yes? Great. Here’s what you do, don’t ask a question until it bubbles up after your client is done talking. I’m sure you’re like me in most coaching sessions in that you often formulate your next question while your client is talking.
You’ll know if this is correct because you either start talking as soon as your client stops, or you even interrupt your client because you’re so excited to ask your question.
Notice I said above “like me”. I freely admit that I often come up with the next question before my coachee is done talking. My mind moves quickly in coaching sessions because I’m on high alert. I’m paying so much attention that I’m even moving ahead of the client in the conversation.
In the past I’ve taught a listening class called Learning to Listen. In that class, there’s a phenomenon called the Mental Speed Advantage. This is where the mind can process much faster in most cases than the other person can speak. Therefore, while we are listening to our client, we can use additional mental resources to think of our next question.
In casual conversation, I think this is not a problem. It’s even more natural for people in friendly conversation to talk quickly and even over each other. But in a coaching conversation, it’s not the way to go.
Increasing your coaching presence, improving your listening skills, and introducing more thought and silence into a session is going to be a winning move.
Let me know if you’ll take me up on the challenge. I’m going for it.
If you’d like to go further with our instruction, consider joining the Center for Executive Coaching. We have 3 levels of enrollment and payment plans to suit your pace and budget. Learn more here, or contact us to learn more.
Want to learn more about conversations? Read our article on “Why we don’t stack questions in coaching conversations.”
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- Have you tried audio only coaching?
YouTube Videos
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